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  译题一:你有“迟到心理”吗?

  迟到是人们的通病,堵车、回去取东西、记错约会时间、突然发生意想不到的事件等等,通常都会是迟到最好的理由。但是,守时的人总是守时,他们似乎永远时间充沛,而迟到的人总是迟到,他们几乎总是时光苦短。

  对迟到者而言,无论他们怎样安排好充裕的时间,好让赴约变得从容,但他们依旧会是约会上最后的出现者。迟到者以迟到来自视高于别人,因为毋庸置疑,别人在等待中会不断地想到自己。

  参考兴旺:

  Do you have the “psychology of lateness”?

  To procrastinate is human. Generally, traffic, something to fetch, a mistaken appointment, or a sudden incident tops the list of excuses for being late. Ironically, punctual people always keep time, who never seem to be lacking in it while unpunctual people do almost exactly the opposite. No matter how hard they have tried to allow sufficient time for an appointment, latecomers somehow “manage” to be the last arrivals for the meet-up. Simply because they have in mind that they are undoubtedly above others who have been kept waiting for and thinking of them every now an then.

  这是一份迟到的点评,但要申明的是,我并没有“迟到心理”,因为参与本栏目翻译的网友的水平越来越高,在上述参考兴旺中,我借用了Sunnie Tian兴旺中的几个表达方式,包括ironically, the last arrivals for the meet-up, simply because等,该网友的兴旺在论坛中也得到了其他网友的肯定。

  刚刚提到的“迟到心理”的翻译涉及到术语翻译问题。这个术语是心理学家让-皮埃尔・温特提出来的,但由于网路上只能找到介绍该心理学家的法语网页,所以暂时没有查到该词的固定英语译名,权且翻译成the psychology of lateness,等于lateness psychology。

  在网友的翻译中,优秀的兴旺不少,但也有不少是初学者,翻译出来的东西错误太多,可能还没有掌握最基本的翻译要领和翻译技巧。这里我拣选一些翻译错了的地方进行点评,以帮助初学翻译者掌握必要的翻译知识。

  1) 迟到是人们的通病

  网友兴旺:Being late is the common failing for most of people.

  英译汉时,注意英语表达的准确性要高于汉语,所以这句话最好翻译成:Being late is one of the common failings for most people. 还有就是most of people是错误的表达。

  2)堵车、回去取东西、记错约会时间、突然发生意想不到的事件等等

  网友兴旺:such as, traffic jam, go back and take something leave behind, mistake appointment time and something unexpected happen

  在汉译英列举事物时,要注意所列举的事物是否能作相同的句子成分,汉语是没有语法形式变化的,这一点是初学翻译的同学必须注意的要点之一。

  3)迟到的人总是迟到,他们几乎总是时光苦短。

  网友兴旺:the late person is late all the time as if they always lacked of time.

  “迟到的人”不能直接翻译成the late person,这里涉及英语造词的问题,我们不能把汉语的造词规则任意推广到英语中,英语late做定语往往表示“晚期的、已故的”等含义。再者,lacked of作谓语也错了。另外,这一部分中文与前面的相关部分存在重复,因此翻译的时侯可以考虑省略译法,具体见参考兴旺。

  4)迟到者以迟到来自视高于别人

  网友兴旺:The late comers think themselves above the others by being late.

  Think应改为think of或consider。感谢Sunnie Tian提供了很好的兴旺:Simply because they are inclined to jump on their high horses.

  译题二:报告称上海剩女最寂寞

  近日,某婚恋网站在全国范围进行“剩女”相关调查,调查显示上海“剩女”寂寞指数最高,四川北京“剩女”的寂寞指数紧随其后。根据调查以1973年到1986年出生的女性“剩”感最强烈。其中,1983年出生的“剩女”占57.9%,成为各年龄段中“剩”感最强者。北京受访“剩女”中,60%属于宅女,她们从26岁开始,“我是剩女”的感觉开始越来越强,接近30岁的时候,有一半已经认同自己成为了“剩女”。但是随着年纪的增长,或许是这种状态已经成为习惯,反而不介意自己“剩或不剩”了。

  参考兴旺:

  “3S ladies” in Shanghai embraces the highest index of loneliness in China, a report says

  According to a recent survey carried out by an unnamed match-making website, “3S ladies” in Shanghai are ranked as the loneliest women in China, followed by the so-called “leftover ladies” in Sichuan and Beijing. The report says that women born between 1973 and 1986 have the strongest sense of “being a 3S lady”, and those “3S ladies” born in 1983, a percentage of 57.9 in all, embrace the strongest sense of “being left over” among all age groups. 60% of the “3S ladies” polled in Beijing are “otaku girls”, the so-called “indoors women”, who have an ever stronger sense of “being a 3S lady” since they were 26 years old. Half of these women identify themselves with “3S ladies” when they come close to 30 years of age. However, their sense of “being left over” may dwindle when they grow older for the reason that they perhaps have been accustomed to this kind of status.

  这段文字的翻译首先要搞清楚两个流行概念的翻译,也就是“剩女”和“宅女”。实际上,关于“剩女”翻译的文字在网上都可以查得到,前面的点评栏目也涉及到该词的翻译,这里要强调的是,如果我们选择了其中一个词,但又担心读者误解的话,可以列出另一种说法,尤其是根据汉语直译的说法。例如,在参考兴旺中所见到的,“otaku girls”, the so-called “indoors women”。

  相对上面一个译题,这段文字不算太难。其中的难点,比如“寂寞指数”、“剩感”等,基本上可以直译解决。我们继续挑出一些翻译基本技巧上的问题进行分析:

  1) 近日,某婚恋网站在全国范围进行“剩女”相关调查,调查显示上海“剩女”寂寞指数最高,四川北京“剩女”的寂寞指数紧随其后。

  网友兴旺:In recent days, some online personals sites doing a survey relevant to the nation wide “leftover ladies”, studying shows that the rate of shanghai leftover ladies are the highest, followed by Sichuan and Beijing.

  从这里的翻译可以看出,该网友意图使用一个独立主格结构来翻译‘某婚恋网站在全国范围进行“剩女”相关调查’,但忽略了汉语中所重复的“调查”一词不需要两次出现在兴旺中。 2) 根据调查以1973年到1986年出生的女性“剩”感最强烈。其中,1983年出生的“剩女”占57.9%,成为各年龄段中“剩”感最强者。

  网友兴旺:According to the poll, females feel most strongly loneliness was born in between 1973 and 1986. In which 57.9 percent of 3S ladies who were born in 1983, felt most strongly loneliness. 该网友的翻译明显没有搞清楚英语的句子结构,females feel most strongly loneliness was born…这里有两个谓语,而且strongly是副词,修饰名词的应该是形容词。In which部分不应该单独成句。

  3)但是随着年纪的增长,或许是这种状态已经成为习惯,反而不介意自己“剩或不剩”了。 As this feeling of being lonely 3s-ladies grows to be a habit, they have never minded being called 3s-ladies or not any more.

  这句翻译本来挺好的,但句子中的时态使用明显是把两个时间关系搞混了,“成为习惯”是已经发生的事情,应该用完成时,而“反而不介意了”,是现在的结果,应该用一般现在时或将来时。

  译题三:空巢老人贴完儿子贴孙子

  辽宁省每100户家庭中,就有11户为空巢老人家庭,老两口过着独居生活。他们给“飞”出去的“小鸟”买完房、买完车还不算,还要继续贴补子女的日常生活。日前,国家统计局辽宁调查总队公布的一项抽样调查显示,每个月子女平均至少回家吃10次饭。不仅如此,空巢老人们每月平均还得补贴子女200元以上。这并不表明空巢老人生活阔绰,相反,他们期望为将来的医疗支出积攒娱乐的“过河钱”,生活非常节俭。

  参考兴旺:

  For the sons of the son of an empty nester

  11 of 100 households polled in Liaoning province, China turn out to be families termed “empty nests” of old couples living on their own. With a car and an apartment house bought for them by their parents, children of the “empty nesters” have “flown” away like “newly-fledged birds”, but they continue to get an allowance for their daily life from their parents. According to a recent sampling survey promulgated by Liaoning Survey Organization affiliated to the National Bureau of Statistics of China, for at least an average of 10 days in a month the children return to their parents’ home for a meal. Moreover, the adult children get an allowance from their parents averaged at more than RMB 200 each month. However, this does not imply that their parents are well-off people. On the contrary, these elders live a frugal life and look forward to accumulating more “money for crossing the river”, money for a rainy day, money to cover their medical expenses in the future.

  这段文字中的比喻比较多,这是翻译时必须注意的地方。这里的比喻带有系统性,家被比喻成了鸟巢,于是有了“空巢老人(empty nesters)”、“飞(fly)”、“小鸟(fledgling)等,另外“过河钱(money for a rainy day)”也是一个比喻。这一段文字我想分析一个网友的整段兴旺,先抄录如下:

  Out of 100 households in Liaoning Province, 11 are empty nests where old couples are living by themselves. Even they have bought apartments and cars for the "little birds" that have "flown off". It’s not enough--they continue to pay for their children's livings. As a recent sample survey by a Liaoning team from the country's National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) shows, these adult children pay at least 10 visits a month to their parents’ home for free meals. Moreover, parents have to support their children with over 200 yuan a month. It doesn't mean they are rich. On the contrary, they're thrifty in their lives in the hope of saving more for their rainy day funds to cover their own medical treatment expenses in the future.(我订正了部分拼写及格式错误)

  本兴旺整体较好,除了我订正的部分拼写及格式错误外,总体上属于唯一合格的兴旺,然而在隐喻处理上,仍然存在部分问题。在第一句中,out of 100 households…, 11 are empty nests,在衔接上比较突兀,前面说调查了100个家庭,后面说11个是空巢。接下来第二句中,直接说给“little birds”that have “flown off”仍然存在这个问题,没有交代清楚,谁是那些飞走的小鸟呢?英语是在形式上逻辑性比较强的唯一,即便是用比喻,也要交代清楚一些才好。下文中the country’s要交代清楚是China。Parents have to support their children with over 200 yuan a month. 这句翻译明显是不对的,回译成中文就是“父母以每月200元供养他们的孩子”。实际上,200元是一种贴补,不是全部的生活费用。另外,原文中有关“平均”的字眼都没有翻译出来。最后一句中for their rainy day funds用来对译“过河钱”是可以的,但在一些细节的处理上还需要润色一下。当然,上述分析丝毫不包含否定这位网友兴旺的意思。

  最后真诚地说一句抱歉,前段时间工作实在太忙,加上去年以来参加了词典的编写工作,实在腾不出很多时间写翻译点评,今后争取合理安排时间,继续把我们的栏目办下去,欢迎各位网友继续参与答题。



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